Tag Archives: love

Estranged

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“When I was little, I picked a flower and put it in a vase. After a few days, it died. I asked my mom why, and she said, “you can’t force a flower to thrive somewhere it doesn’t belong to.” And now, I realize that people are like that too”- unknown

I spent days thinking about human connection and interaction. The way we are close and the way we are able to leave each other behind as if we have never crossed paths.

One word came to mind- estranged.

Estrangement is bittersweet. It gives me chills to know that someone I was once close to is now a stranger. However, with time estrangement seems fine.

I strongly believe that time does heal all wounds.

As I reflect on all those people who have left my life- or those whom I have left theirs, I am appalled by how today the feeling of alienation or desertion leaves me unphased.

Can you remember that friend who you thought was like a brother or sister to you? Or that man or woman who you thought you were meant to be with forever?

Exactly.

There is definitely a struggle at the end of any estrangement- whether social or intimate. There are days when you feel like the weight was not lifted. You question things and try to find reasons why your friendship or relationship ended. You even will ask yourself, should I reach out to this person for closure or to amend what was broken?

The truth is there is a season for everything.

Those who have walked only a section of your life journey with you have done their time. Sometimes it makes no sense to force a person to be a part of your life or to force yourself to be a part of someone else’s life.

The aches you feel in the now will be relieved in the then. Few days, months or even years all you will do is reflect on the good times you had with those persons and smile, you will look at the bad times and say this is why you had to part ways or even more scary you will not reflect at all because it will be as though those persons and you have never crossed paths.

So for everyone who has lost someone or who has since experience estrangement, there is hope. Things will get better with time. If you are meant to rekindle and grow it will happen. And if that was the end of your life journey together, you will figure out a way to grow without that person.

And always remember, “you can’t force a flower to thrive where it doesn’t belong.”

And you my dear can also be that flower.

Everything is gone to Dust

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Love is intense, beautiful, intriguing, passionate, companionship, happiness. I could go on but it would be never-ending because we all know that love is infinite.

Because of all these wonderful things sometimes love makes it hard to move on. It makes it hard for us to break up so we hold on.

There is so much uncertainty in life and when it comes to our relationships, some of us are even more unaware of what may happen. So instead we detach ourselves emotionally, sexually and mentally before actually departing physically.

We are scared of the hurt and pain that we may have to endure after a loving chapter has ended. We are scared because we are uncertain what will follow. We are afraid to live in regret so we choose the known over the unknown.

The reality is break ups can be hard.

Breaking up takes a toll because when we are in love our feelings are intensified.

That is why when we crash we burn!

We all know that love does entail some form of suffering but I am sure we all know when we have suffered enough.

Should we save ourselves from the immense grief and sorrow that follows a break up by continuing to wobble in unhappiness and uncertainty?

I think we at least owe it to ourselves to walk away when things have turned into dust;

And when it is quite clear that consistent happiness is no long possible.

It is so crazy that although we know we can start over, we are terrified of what will follow when a chapter in our life is ended…

Confinement

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Is this what I really need?

To be confined in the arms of my lover?

To be confined with one person to eternity?

For you to be trapped in my head?

For me to be trapped inside my head?

For all I think about is you?

Why should I spend all my time with you?

What about my friends?

What about your friends?

With over 7 billion people on Earth, why do we get to declare that our forever should be with only us?

What should I ever do if I meet someone else that I actually like?

What about that person who I feel connected to?

Why can’t I get over you?

The truth is, I feel confined to you and on some days I wish you feel confined to me too…

The complex road to a man’s heart

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The complexity of human interaction can be found in one of our most humble characteristics – our uniqueness. The more I keep in touch with people the more it is obvious that no two people are a like.

Whether it be on a social or an intimate level, we find ourselves hanging out or planning to start a life with those with whom we have found some level of comfort or connection. It is expected that people with shared beliefs, values, goals or desires will unify because they have similarities.

However, at the center of all that is uniqueness. A crucial factor that oftentimes disrupts the natural flow of things.

It is always so amusing to interact with people of different nationality, race, social and geographical background. The experience we get from being exposed to a diverse population is thrilling and suspenseful because you never really know who you will get.

What do I actually mean?

Have you ever met two people who are identical in terms of socioeconomic and geographical background? One may turn out to be the most welcoming person you have ever met. On the contrary, the other may be the most obnoxious person you have ever encountered in your life.

Everything I have said so far is relatable on a social level. However, on an intimate scale, our unique principles and behavior may also turn out to be detrimental to the happiness and peace we so often venture out to find in the arms of our lover(s).

Relationships are fueled with high velocity of emotions. There is love, passion, sex and chemistry. All of which can be tumultuous. We all crave for that relationship that makes us feel like we are on a high. It is so exhilarating to talk about the new found fling or lover.

The sad thing, however, is that relationships are similar to a story plot. They all seem to have a climax and then a fall. After being with someone for a while, you start to realize that love becomes customary.

You love them and you know that they love you.

It is just a weird form of knowledge that you have without needing “I love you” to be said to you every second of the day.

When you are at this point in your relationship, you start to have epiphanic revelations. It is as though the emotions were clouding your sight. You start to realize that there are so much complexities associated with keeping a relationship alive.

All the things that you like and love, all the things that make you irritable and annoyed take precedence and if you are not careful the life you once yearn for will be instantly snatched from you.

And the sad part is, everything you experience from this point on all boils down to each person’s uniqueness.

The way to a man’s heart is really complicated and challenging. It is never smooth sailing. There is just a level of intricacy that reveals itself after the honeymoon phase has passed.

Because of this I want you to always remember these little things:

Don’t be hard on each other because you think someone has lost their touch, Don’t go having affairs because you want to get that thrill back and Don’t be quick to think that it is the end.

Although, maybe it is.