Tag Archives: human interaction

Racism- The Uncomfortable Conversation

There are certain topics and experiences that we hold dear to our hearts. As a consequence, we get so uncomfortable when we need to sit and have a fluent conversation with others.

Some wise person did say the truth causes offense. And this is merely because the hard truth can make us feel so uncomfortable.

With everything that has been happening in the world, it has brought up racist led conversations- discussions about white vs black, how blacks think whites think and how blacks think of whites.

The reality is racial conversations are sensitive and oftentimes personal. We will take a side based on our interaction with blacks and whites and also the way we are treated as black people.

This is definitely one of those topics where there is a plethora of views that may differ from your friends’, your family’s, and strangers’.


A few days ago I was having a conversation about race with a friend and the way each of us think clearly did not coincide.

We spoke not of the social injustices or the protests but of how we think white people are. She was on the premise that white people all deep down have a shade- they do not really view us as equals. On the other hand, I was saying that I refused to think that because I just cannot bring myself to imagine that white people all deep down think that blacks are unequal or inferior to them.

We, however, both agreed that we have really close friends that are white.

And in that very moment I said that is the sole reason I cannot think all whites have a “shade” in regards to their views of black people. I even went as far as saying I refuse to think in that light because if that were true I would be deeply heartbroken.


I will reiterate that this is really an uncomfortable topic.

Even in writing this piece, I am somewhat concern about how my opinion will be interpreted or if it may seem offensive to someone. Racism is just one of those themes that may spark a backlash (check out Twitter, the Coons and people being cancelled) when you least expect it.


But to get back on track, firstly, I decided to address the awkwardness associated with racist led conversations because I want to know the views of others. With that said please feel free to leave a comment so I can know what your thoughts are.

Secondly, I address this issue because I want to let others know of an important message about not letting what you been through harden your heart.

Thirdly, I take such a stance because I do not want anyone to garner a generalized idea about me based entirely on the facts that I am black, I am a woman, I am an immigrant or I am Jamaican.


One of my personality traits is that I am always willing to give others the benefit of the doubt. In my world, anyone with whom I interact is innocent until proven guilty.

Whether you are black or white, immigrant or citizen through birth, I believe that I should have negative connotations of you only if you have hurt, discrimate or harm me and others.

In other words, I refuse to just hate someone or think they are “shady” only because of their color, heritage, customs and beliefs.

But again that is my take on life, racism and people on a whole.

I cannot bring myself to think that all whites are the same for the same reasons I do not want anyone to think of me being the same as all women, all black women, all blacks, all Caribbean immigrants and so on.

Furthermore, if I think someone has a shade or has treated me badly, I cannot bring myself to be in a position where I will smile and nod as if evrything is fine and dandy (one hypocritical American custom that I hate).

If you are mad at me state it. If you refuse to state it suck it up and let us carry on.

But do not be mad, say horrible things, treat me unjustly and then smile to my face as if we are good.

Because the moment I have established your position in regards to me I cannot engage in a relationship with you or I cannot let my often complimented beautiful smile greets you.

My facial expression will be enough to let you know I want nothing to do with you.

And I know this may sound like a rant, but it should be interpreted as a plea.

Despite of all the horrific injustices, blatant racism and the prevalence of ethnocentrism and nationalism, we should honor people (regardless of color and background) for being people.

Do not be quick to judge someone or gather stereotypical opinions solely because of physical appearance or their heritage.

Also, we have to make the hard decision of not letting the horrendous experiences we have encountered in life change us for the worse.

We have to find strength in knowing that despite all the unpleasantries, we will go through and grow through them and emerge as better versions of ourselves.

Alien in the Streets

Migration can be traced as far back to historical events such as conquests and colonization, and slavery and indentureship. Today many people continue to immigrate to other countries in a quest for better life, better education, better medical care and even so that they can escape persecutions from their own country.

We pack our bags and leave to start a journey on our own or to reunite with our families. Some people did not even get the chance to leave peacefully.

Regardless of the reasons for leaving, we find ourselves in new realms where we learn new customs and try to adjust.


When I first came to America as an exchange student, I was in awe of how beautiful and accessible everything is. I was, however, amused that people treated persons in a prejudicial way because you looked and sounded different from them.

That was my first cultural shock!

Years later when I migrated permanently, I found out through observation that depending on the state in which you live and the area within the state, you may be further exposed to different prejudicial treatments.

For example, in a diversed area as New York City, you tend to feel accepted and you are hardly ever treated in an unjust way. People are definitely rude but it seem to be more by nature and not because of the color of your skin or your accent. On the contrary, as you move farther away from the city you find that there are strains of prejudice and even racism. You may live in a nice neighborhood tucked away from the crowd and bustling city life, but then you find that not everyone is welcoming or let you feel accepted because, I assume, you have just invaded their neighborhood.

I then came to conclude that the habitation of Caribbean people, Asians, Indians and so on, in close proximity in certain neighborhoods, occur because immigrants get to feel at home and experience a sense of belonging.

The fact is when you live in neighborhoods with people who are similar to you in color, beliefs and social and geographical backgrounds there tend to be more comfort and sense of community.


As immigrants we have been physically alienated from our own country.

We face scrutiny from those who have claimed true stakes on our new home by the nature of their birth.

At times I try to tell myself that in a work setting nothing said and done to me is personal. But 7 out of 10 times it is completely hard to ignore the way I am treated because I look and sound different from those who were born here.

Despite the atrocities that are meted out to us, we take our new country as our home. We work hard to feel accepted, to utilize all the opportunities that are available and to rise above the prejudicial ways that we encounter.

We make sacrifices so that we can have a better life for ourselves and our children and so that we can achieve things that may have not been attainable in the country of our birth.

But even when we do what the Romans do, there sometimes seem to be a level of unacceptance that leave us being aliens in these streets.

The complex road to a man’s heart

The complexity of human interaction can be found in one of our most humble characteristics – our uniqueness. The more I keep in touch with people the more it is obvious that no two people are a like.

Whether it be on a social or an intimate level, we find ourselves hanging out or planning to start a life with those with whom we have found some level of comfort or connection. It is expected that people with shared beliefs, values, goals or desires will unify because they have similarities.

However, at the center of all that is uniqueness. A crucial factor that oftentimes disrupts the natural flow of things.

It is always so amusing to interact with people of different nationality, race, social and geographical background. The experience we get from being exposed to a diverse population is thrilling and suspenseful because you never really know who you will get.

What do I actually mean?

Have you ever met two people who are identical in terms of socioeconomic and geographical background? One may turn out to be the most welcoming person you have ever met. On the contrary, the other may be the most obnoxious person you have ever encountered in your life.


Everything I have said so far is relatable on a social level. However, on an intimate scale, our unique principles and behavior may also turn out to be detrimental to the happiness and peace we so often venture out to find in the arms of our lover(s).

Relationships are fueled with high velocity of emotions. There is love, passion, sex and chemistry. All of which can be tumultuous. We all crave for that relationship that makes us feel like we are on a high. It is so exhilarating to talk about the new found fling or lover.

The sad thing, however, is that relationships are similar to a story plot. They all seem to have a climax and then a fall. After being with someone for a while, you start to realize that love becomes customary.

You love them and you know that they love you.

It is just a weird form of knowledge that you have without needing “I love you” to be said to you every second of the day.

When you are at this point in your relationship, you start to have epiphanic revelations. It is as though the emotions were clouding your sight. You start to realize that there are so much complexities associated with keeping a relationship alive.

All the things that you like and love, all the things that make you irritable and annoyed take precedence and if you are not careful the life you once yearn for will be instantly snatched from you.

And the sad part is, everything you experience from this point on all boils down to each person’s uniqueness.


The way to a man’s heart is really complicated and challenging. It is never smooth sailing. There is just a level of intricacy that reveals itself after the honeymoon phase has passed.

Because of this I want you to always remember these little things:

Don’t be hard on each other because you think someone has lost their touch, Don’t go having affairs because you want to get that thrill back and Don’t be quick to think that it is the end.

Although, maybe it is.