Tag Archives: dealing with anxiety

Pain

Our very first reaction to the word and idea of pain is always physical. After all, pain is something that we often feel, which allows us to have physical symptoms.

But there is that abstract pain that tears our hearts out. It is almost as though our chests are tightening and we are just awaiting the impending death that looms over our soul to devour us and take us home.

That pain is emotional.

Lately that is how I have been feeling.

I am grateful for the high days as they remind me of happiness and a much calmer life where things are mellow and vibrant.

On the contrary, there are those days when I think that my anxiety itself is so overwhelming I probably wont make it.

There are other days when I am able to express myself and say how I feel. And there are those days when I think speaking of my struggles is too much. It it as though every time I speak I am reliving my trauma.

So instead, I stay confused, depressed and alone.

But the funny thing is, “numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it,” J.K. Rowling.

So I try to embrace my pain thinking that at the end of my endurance there should be a happy ending.

And I guess that’s hope.

Precarious

“Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming, when nothing is certain, anything is possible” – Mandy Hale

There are so many people who had a vision and it came through. It does not necessarily mean that they did not experience any direct or indirect struggles but we see their wins and acknowledge their successes.

On the other hand, there are some of us that are stuck in a never-ending cycle of uncertainty and indecisiveness.

I am some of us.

But what I have learn is that once we are alive we will wake up and be anxious, depressed, happy, sad, nonchalant, indecisive, lethargic, productive and so on.

The point is life carries on whether or not we want it to. We have no authority to put a pause on life itself.

As such, I have employed a few strategies to help me make sense of my uncertainties:

  • Everything that happened was meant to be;
  • Anything that is meant for me, will never miss me;
  • Take a deep breath when uncertainties seem to be overwhelming;
  • Take a moment to be grateful for all the already achieved goals;
  • Change my train of thought;
  • Find new ways to solve current and pending issues;
  • Things will work out if it is meant to be;
  • With effort and dedication on my part careers, hobbies and social/intimate life will fall in place;
  • Everything in life is temporary, nothing, including my struggles and uncertainties, lasts forever;
  • Take a step back and recuperate.

Disentangled

On so many forefronts of my life, I find myself being disengaged, detached and disentangled.

The truth is the unaddressed traumas of life will always linger and subconsciously work to change the ways you view people, the way you operate and may very much influence the next stage(s) of your life.

Sometimes I am so sad, another time I am nonchalant and other times I just want to be left alone by everyone and everything.

How have I recognized that I have changed?

  • For a while I have no interest to talk on the phone or even in person with friends, acquaintances or even strangers.
  • I have outgrown certain themes and topics that usually excite or interest me.
  • I communicate very minimally with others- I hardly keep in touch.
  • I make priorities in regards to what I do or can do for others.
  • I am an avid practiitoner of “once bitten, twice shy.”
  • Lastly, I have learned to say no and put myself first at all times.

I do acknowledge that not all my newly acquired behaviors are healthy or helpful. But recognizing my evolvement is one step towards consciously knowing and accepting that I have grown in some form of way.

There is so much trauma that is still left unravelled and unaddressed. And my anxiety sets in when the world seems as though it is about to cave in.

I, however, know that at some point I have to stop to address all these hurt, pain, disappointments, injustice and heartbreak.

But I will leave all of those for another day.

Triggers

Off the top of my head, triggers can be anything ranging from a person(s), behavior or objects that causes a reaction that affects our mental being.

One of the important tenets of understanding our mental fragility is to recognize our triggers. If we know our triggers, or even know a few of our triggers, we may be able to know what to avoid. Knowing our triggers is also crucial in helping us know why we are in a distressful state. Most importantly, triggers will help us to know what mechanisms we need to employ in order to start feeling better.

So what happens when I am triggered?

As someone who is ever so helpful, I am oftentimes overwhelmed when too many people are looking to me for help. The pressure of thinking everyone is relying on me elicits emotions of distress and anxiety.

To be honest not all the time I am able to know that I am triggered or what exactly causes me to be in a certain mental state.

However, at times I feel myself wanting to be in isolation, my sleeping pattern is disrupted, and I prefer to lie in bed all day without interacting with anyone.

The increase of such patterns always let me know that something is resting on my mental psyche. And the best part is, I do let myself wallow in my depression and anxiety.

Sometimes we all need a break and personal space.

People and life can be overwhelming.

But as I grow and learn more about myself, I realize that I have adopted certain actions or refrain from certain actions and relationships that will cause me to feel depressed.


Certainly, life is unpredictable and uncontrollable so I am not always able to take control of the circumstances that I experience.


But here are a few things that I have done to help me when I am triggered or to prevent me from being triggered:

  • I refrain from being in constant contact with people who always seem to need from me.
  • I refrain from having relationships that are parasitic.
  • I refrain from being amongst people who always have negative things to say and who want to convince me that the worse things are good for me.
  • I do not associate myself with those who will whisper all the bad and negative things others have said about me.
  • When I am triggered, I try to change my chain of thoughts (not to happy thoughts) but to understand what I am going through and see what I can do to start feeling better.
  • I also take the time to feel the pain, hurt, sadness and anger before trying to work on feeling positive emotions.

Despite what we are facing and going through, I know some days are better than some.

And the truth is we all have days of feeling low.

Sometimes we prefer not to feel our pain, hurt and are scared to embrace our diminished mental state, but we should all remember that we are all human. And while we can aspire and work towards perfection, no one is perfect and nobody’s life is perfect.

So do not beat yourself up too much when you are going through a low time. Always remember there is hope and while our current distress may seems like forever evrything in this life is temporary.