On so many forefronts of my life, I find myself being disengaged, detached and disentangled.
The truth is the unaddressed traumas of life will always linger and subconsciously work to change the ways you view people, the way you operate and may very much influence the next stage(s) of your life.
Sometimes I am so sad, another time I am nonchalant and other times I just want to be left alone by everyone and everything.
How have I recognized that I have changed?
- For a while I have no interest to talk on the phone or even in person with friends, acquaintances or even strangers.
- I have outgrown certain themes and topics that usually excite or interest me.
- I communicate very minimally with others- I hardly keep in touch.
- I make priorities in regards to what I do or can do for others.
- I am an avid practiitoner of “once bitten, twice shy.”
- Lastly, I have learned to say no and put myself first at all times.
I do acknowledge that not all my newly acquired behaviors are healthy or helpful. But recognizing my evolvement is one step towards consciously knowing and accepting that I have grown in some form of way.
There is so much trauma that is still left unravelled and unaddressed. And my anxiety sets in when the world seems as though it is about to cave in.
I, however, know that at some point I have to stop to address all these hurt, pain, disappointments, injustice and heartbreak.
But I will leave all of those for another day.